Beer soap update
Wisconsin has beer soap now. Please do not eat the soap! Cleopatra took bath in milk, she is the Wisconsin queen of all time! I want to be the Wisconsin king by drinking beer, and sudsing up clean!Blizzard buries north-east USA! Blizzard is the Katrina for President B.O. What is he doing to mobilize added machinery and manpower to aid in the storm that will cut GDP by 1%? He’s ignoring the storm staring him in his face! Brilliant wait and worry plan of inaction is his Katrina plan.
Before President B.O. was born, mayor Bilandic of Chicago was run out of town. His problem was the blizzard he did nothing to bring the city back from the brink of the Donner Party. If you ask President B.O. about the Donner Party or mayor Bilandic, he probably would give a blank stare. Wake up!
If you don’t use the resources of our country to keep our country moving, then forget about the good intentions for Haiti, gays in military, or anything else. Americans want to work. Keeping stores, offices, and cities shut down is helping the GDP how? Wake up sleeping beauty! President B.O. can call up army corps of engineers. (Please don’t call them corpse of engineers!)
Right now the President has no plan of action, and is ignoring the most obvious problem staring the USA! Good job, just keep sleeping like mayor Bilandic. Oh yeah, does anyone remember mayor Bilandic? Nobody does when he got booted out.
The President B.O. talk a couple of days ago (he gives several everyday it seems) refers to a secret military program uses corpses! He kept referring to a corpse man from Haiti being used by our military. Zombie and voodoo magic is including supernatural nonsense with our agnostic governmental policies.
I do not like the idea that our military are allowed to use a corpse to be serving in active duty. Why does President B.O. even talk about corpses? Necrophilia, homosexuality, and voodoo magic make me question if we are living in world going mad? I even heard that President Bush is still causing trouble for President B.O., and what about the soon to be departed Senator Byrd joining the choir with Ted the pirate of Massachusetts? Will Senator Byrd be laid out in his white robes from his KKK group?
The advertisers are demanding their money back from the SuperBowl! With the riveting and exciting Katie Caloric interview of President B.O. seems to go on forever, and is almost as exciting as the Public Service announcements! We switched to the HSN channel to get our adrenalin going again.
President has ruined my enjoying SuperBowl, and he has ruined ratings for CBS! Why didn’t President Bush, or Clinton get 30 minute interviews on Super Sunday? Because they didn’t want to ruin Sunday for the nation. Thanks President B.O., and please shut up.
As we enjoy football, friends, and smoke a cigar or two with a beer or two, the television ads can be a lot of fun, too! We have spared no expense of using your tax money on a SuperBowl ad. They show some hobo types hired to play act in an advertisement to highlight the importance of the census of all living in the USA.
The hobo nation wants all unemployed and migrant hobo residents to participate in the census. I don’t know how many millions of dollars was spent on this hobo ad. I’m just happy that our President has spent money on unemployed hobo actors and actresses with no recent work to play act in the census ad.
My only fondest hope and prayer, that the President does not show up everywhere during the SuperBowl game. I want to watch football, argue with buddies, and indugle in a little merriment. The Las Vegas book makers say the odds are 90 to 1 that the President will crash into tv during the SuperBowl. President B.O. is afraid the voters might forget he is still in the White House.
Las Vegas is my kind of town, where a hobo can leave town with wads of cash. Of course, if you are a tightwad and won’t bet a nickle, then you fit into the President B.O. camp of whiners who complain about losing even if they don’t even bet a nickle slot.
Our government is to serve and protect the citizens of this great country. Now after the complaints, crashes, and deaths have built up to a media crescendo, our government watchdog wakes up!
How many citizens have to be killed, maimed, and terrorized by safety concerns of Toyota and Lexus racing out of control, and now brakes that hesitate when you need to stop? Many may not know that it took Ralph Nader to create a fictional safety problem on Corvair that he staged to make GM a villain, and he became a wealthy hero.
Why is our Transportation Department blind, deaf, and dumb to alert citizens and intercede on our behalf to save us from actual problems? The President and his car czar wanted us to imitate Toyota. Maybe they should drive a Lexus now. I am not scared of my GM Pontiac, our Chevrolet HHR, or our Ford Focus. Thank you for the incompetenet, free spending Transportion crew too busy to do their job.
Now they want to slap huge fines on Toyota and Lexus to add to their billions of wasted dollars. Of course, those fines don’t help those dead citizens. It’s only to make more money for the idiot beauracrats so they can waste more money doing nothing for us.
The prestigious and exclusive Idi Amin Institute of World Control has chosen our President to receive the Idi Amin Leadership Medal, if we pay $100,000 to the institute. For those who have forgotten, Idi was a legendary and eccentric leader who bordered on lunacy. A fierce warrior (literally, using weapons of all types) he persuaded many to follow his inspired leadership, under the threat of death and mayhem to their families.
Professor Doom is working on an analysis of Idi’s most brilliant strategies for world control. Doctor Gloom has secured rights to put Idi’s brain on display for $0.50 at the traveling sideshow, next to the fortune-teller wagon.
We all feel a sense of pride, and history reliving itself. Idi would have been proud to stand alongside our fearless leader, and his czars!
Uncle Stosh has finished his research on Hobo stimulus package. Let hoboes drive Toyota and Lexus kamikaze cars. They will die in luxury, and force the insurance companies to pay for all the mayhem and carnage. It will punish the greedy insurance companies, save the innocent Japanese car buyers, and provide a noble death for our 20 million unemployed hobo group.
The carbon savings by destroying 20 million Japanese cars will make Al Gore eat another bbq pork biscuit in celebration. Senator Justin Case and Representative Wyeth Delay endorse the immediate collection of all Japanese car owners for interrogation on unAmerican activities.
The designated Hobo kamikaze driver enlisting office will be staffed by a new adjunct to Consumer Safety in the basement of a unemployment office in downtown Detroit. Sayonara hobo kamikaze drivers. With a little warm Saki, and a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer you will be serving our country as you crash into a recycling center at the bottom of a gravel pit in Michigan.
Professor Doom has calculated that the entire process should take 3 months. Doctor Gloom has calculated that a small bottle of Saki and a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer consumed will make our kamikaze drivers feel no pain as their Japanese banzai cars end their useless lives.
Professor Doom has advice for all you japanese car owners in the USA. ” Buy more life insurance, now.” Doctor Gloom has emergency directions for you driving your japanese car. “Stay out of my town!”
You put your life in the trust and engineering of complex machines that are being crash tested by American right now. The results ain’t too good. Getting killed because your car is a death trap is not a joke. What is a joke is how our government is protecting us. They are doing nothing! We need more czars for cars?
News flash, our cars in the USA may not have the doodads and stereo systems of the japanese, but I ain’t scared of my Ford, my Pontiac, or my Chevrolet! We trust our lives in them. Our Chevrolet was just serviced to replace a fuse and the service manager said the japanese cars are probably jamming the accelerator because of a computer design flaw with a circuit that could be corroded or faulty because you accelerate by computer chip, not the old-fashioned pedal pushing a metal lever anymore.
Anyway, I welcome all you kamikaze drivers to buy some American cars. Told you so! Stop waiting for our government to help. You’re on your own. Don’t come crying in my beer about your problems. I don’t buy foreign cars. Bonsai, baby!
Don’t want the current President to fight for me? He’s getting his butt whipped in every scrap so far, so I don’t pick him to fight for me. No thanks! He’s fighting to get us jobs. Right. He’s fighting to reduce terror threats. Right. He’s fighting to talk more to explain to us how he’s getting things done we can’t see. Right, he is talking more than any President I can remember.
It’s great that the Democratic leaders in senate and house of representatives suddenly want to work with Republicans. When they had the majority, they didn’t bother listening or even telling them what room the meeting is at. Now that the majority is gone, it’s always been an open door to welcome Republicans? That’s funny! You’re always welcome to be the one left holding the bag for those pranksters in Washington D.C.!
The speech I dread most will the State of the Union!
Why do we need this? It’s all Bush’s fault, and everyone is still mad at Bush. Obama is trying without Republican help. Obama is trying without Democratic help, too! His mother in law should give the speech, because she knows he’s a loser, and we should take pity on her son-in-law.
These Senators and Congress folk is some mob! “I got 60 votes in the senate, so screw you!” “I got the house majority, so screw you!” The cussing, yelling, and plain outright arm twisting on any day in our nation’s nuthouse has more mob action! If we would ony allow dueling again! It would be a great way to settle disputes honorably, and permanently!
Any Friday night in any bar in Chicago has more cussing, yelling, shoving and a lot more fighting than the town hall meetings. Anyone been to a Yankee versus Red Sox game? Get ready for cussing, fighting, and maybe a ball game? Been to a RedWings versus Blackhawks hockey game? Blood, teeth, and riot squads are needed in the nosebleed cheap seat section! This is America, and I love our country!
Don’t you see how old them town hall mob people are? They’re grandparents! Man, I always get nervous when I see a couple of grandparents coming my way at night on a dark street!
It must seem like ancient history when hizzonor Richard J Daley brought out the goons in blue to bust heads with billy clubs and guns to clear the streets of VietNam war protestors. That Dementicrat presidential convention in Chicago shows us our future! I think the late Walter Klondike was at a loss for words! Them windbags on the idiot box TV don’t have a clue about Chicago politics. The President knows how to get it done, just like old Daley! Send in the goons, and them frail old folks will have some new medical problems!
Yes, Chicago mob action is back again, hallelujah! Goons knocking down old people, and street thugs shoving cripples against an alley!! This is kid stuff. Wait til Congress and the Senate gets down to cleaning us out! Then you will feel what real pain is like!
Daley’s buddies split up the spoils, just like the Chicago mafia! Want a likker license, pay up! We’ll send the health inspector 10 times to your greasy spoon, or pay up! Imagine if the senators took advantage of their power? Or if the congress folk shook down banks for money? Glad ethics comittee can’t find anything wrong! Amen!As the late Walter Klondike would say….”And that’s the way it is!”
Them poor people in Kalifornia are getting burned! The eco friendly policy of letting nature take it’s course with no land management or forest management is burning up the state! We have released enough carbon pollution from these fires equal to the smokestacks of China for 5 years of pollution.
Hoboes are fining Kalifornia for pollution, and wasting limited resources of state by firefighters, equipment, and lost property value taxes for burned down million dollar shacks. We expect $20 billion burning pollution fine to our save the earth for hoboes fund. We are organizing our march on Al Gore’s mansion to reparations. This is an inconvenient truth. Forests that are not trimmed of dead wood and harvested for good lumber, will burn up in smoke and cost us more!
Hoboes are glad Nancy Pelosi has taken a leadership position on this crisis in her home state. She is blaming President Bush and President Eisenhower for these forest fires! Of course she lives in San Francisco so the smoke hasn’t reached her multi million dollar penthouse yet.
I invite all the save the earth idiots to see a native nation in Menominee county Wisconsin on how to avoid forest fires and use our forests for improving life. The Menominee College has forestry courses that should be mandatory for any windbag blowhard preaching on how to save the forest. These idiots only know forests they seen in pictures in newspaper. Live in the forest, know how they support wildlife and support the human chain of life!
The hoboes are glad they left Kalifornia before it started up. We won’t go back until they promise to protect their state. Right now they just let it burn out of control, because they are not managing the forest lands.
Happy days are here again! Your odds are 1 in 10 of becoming a hobo. Never in my wildest dreams did I think the hobo party could capture 10% of America’s hearts and minds.
You could even have your odds improve! How about 1 in 5? There aren’t soup kitchens at churches anymore. Zoning restrictions ban churches from helping the homeless and poor. Nice people don’t want them kind of people hanging around! Government tax laws reduce charitable donations too!
Times were better during Hoover! Our President is following some of Hoover’s ideas. Thanks for raising taxes. Thanks for tariff battles to strangle export. Thanks for letting farmers go out in record numbers!
During the 1st Depression, farmers took the country down the final drop into giving up. We all need to get packed for the real 2nd Depression! Don’t make any big plans for 2010. We’ll let you know the nearest hobo jungle. Mulligan stew, moonshine, and bumming a smoke around the campfire will be your favorite memories from this Depression.
Banks are refusing to take back properties they mortgaged. Government is running out of paper to print more money. Senators and Congress Representatives are running out of stories to dish out on how they help us. Grandma’s and Grandpa’s are already in the streets! Can you believe it with TEA party marches? Them people don’t have long to live, and nothing to lose if they get on the attack. Heck, they got Chuck Norris!
I want someone that can use elk hides for a coat, a grizzly bear for a rug, and russle up some venison or bear jerky! I want Sarah Palin. Don’t give us no tenderfoot crying and whining about how bad things are. No kidding. I’ll take a real frontier woman over anybody right now. Todd I wouldn’t cross, he is native American and all man. I would feel safe staying at their camp anytime. I’ll bring my treeing walker coonhound to go bear hunting.
See you hoboes soon. Pack your kit.
The strength of America is in the heart and will power of her people. Police Sergeant Kimberly Munley ended the coward’s shooting spree at Fort Hood. The coward and killer Hasan whirled around to take her down with 2 guns blazing away shooting her in one arm and one leg. She just stared him down and shot it out until coward Hasan dropped with the help of her partner Sgt Todd.
If you see a crazy man with a gun, you shoot him until he drops. Of course such direct action might be offensive to some sensitive people. Will the President invite Sergeant Munley and Major Hasan to the White House garden for a beer party to discuss their differences?
You have everyone going out of their way to humor this coward in the army, because he didn’t want to go to war. My son is in combat now and do you think he and his unit were jumping up and down happy to face danger? Of course, we have serious deliberations underway right now on why we are there, and what we want to do, and when should we leave, and when should we schedule our next meeting. Boy it’s tough making decisions while the bullets are flying at you. Sergeant Munley shot a coward down. Give our military the right to defend themselves now! I love to see the “hero” thumping politicians squirm and hide when TEA party people show up, because they might yell at them, or hold up signs they don’t like. Of course, it’s okey to criticize how our troops act, say they are acting like nazi thugs, and worse for political grand standing. Thank you senators Durbin and Murtha for your contributions there.
If you have cowards and saboteurs in training in our military, how about a oath of allegiance to our flag to every member of the military? Those that refuse can ship out of our country, now. I would suggest the same for our Senators and Representatives in Washington, but they would object to being accused of something.
I pledge alliegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible with Liberty and Justice for all.
Us hoboes know the future of our country can be said in these few words! I demand anyone serving in the military or controling our military has to stand up and take the pledge, or get out of town, now.
The Berlin wall of death that divided the German people, courtesy of Communist community organizers is gone 20 years. My father never thought he would see the end of communism during his lifetime. He did get to visit a free Lithuania before he died, where he was on a communist death camp list for opposition to communism. His brothers and uncles all died in death camps courtesy of Stalin.
General Eisenhower gave dad and my mother the gift of freedom in the USA, since General Eisenhower used freedom fighters to support the logistics of the US Army. This was never authorized, but hey when you are fighting for the future of the free world, why worry about bureaucrats and red tape! He offered free passage to USA for those supporting the war of freedom. They came to New York City on a battle ship after the war.
They came here with nothing but my 1 year old brother, and hopes to start a new life. They left all family, and possessions in the hands of the communists. People vote with their feet! God bless America!
Some people refused to leave behind their family heirlooms, property, and money. Of course it all got taken away by the Communists to share the wealth. The Communist bosses got the wealth, the population got their propaganda. My dad and mom really lost nothing, because it was all being taken even if they were staying behind. They gained freedom, and immediately lost their jobs in a bad recession. Welcome to the USA! They survived a lot of setbacks, and found fellow immigrants to share their joys and sorrows in a new country.
I look at our country today and wonder how long our freedom will be a right of our citizens! Not ready to pull up stakes like my parents had to choose. However, I am doing some research on life in Lithuania just in case. Hope you got another option just in case as part of the Homeland Security preparations. I’m getting my passport in order. The folks that didn’t leave Germany before the war and Russia after the war in time before the borders were closed felt kind of stupid.
It would be ironic that after fighting for liberty over generations, that our country let freedom slip away. The promises of a worker’s paradise in Russia came at a price of millions killed who opposed this utopia without rights. Did stimulus spending by the Russian government restore their economy and add well paying jobs? Might think that over as we see our President “lefty” ponders how the government can fix our economy! Good luck Comisar Pelosi on Russian health care plan!
Since President signed NATIONAL EMERGENCY order for the flu, things have gotten real quiet! No big announcements on how many are dying, no big updates on when to expect the vaccine, and no telling us when we can sleep again because the NATIONAL EMERGENCY has ended? Why can’t we get updates on this NATIONAL EMERGENCY?
The hours long lines in wait to get a shot, the seniors with health problems being turned away from vaccine, and the total lack of coordination in this NATIONAL EMERGENCY seems like Katrina in health care!
Wonder if April 15 we can declare a NATIONAL EMERGENCY to delay paying taxes until the H1N1 vaccine has been accounted for? How much did we spend for getting nothing? I did like instructions on washing hands, and was waiting for more instructions but nothing else to do?
Will we celebrate the end of H1N1 national emergency? Can we have speeches, and celebrations that we survived this NATIONAL EMERGENCY in spite of the government being unprepared and useless? Did our senators and representatives all get their pig shots? Most of them folks in Washington DC make pigs of themselves, don’t know how to prevent them from becoming swine.
My buddy was all set for retirement. He had a treasure vault stuffed with Beany Babies, and all his cash was with Bernie Madoff. His fortune evaporated as a mirage in the desert when searching for water. Then he lost his job as a mortgage broker giving loans to illegal immigrants with no proof of income! He still has his letter of commendation from Representative Barney Frank and Senator Chris Dodd on helping our country welcome new homeowners from the disadvantaged.
I got a lot of stuff that made me mad last year. There are a lot of ladies mad at Oprah Winfrey for ditching Sarah Palin off her 2008 schedule. Now she wants to make nice with Sarah in 2009. I been there. Ladies don’t ever forget, and they get mad every time they remember. My wife still slugs me when I remind her how much her mom bugged me during Christmas! She could never shut up. She knew it all. She wanted us to sit quiest like church while she watched Public Television all night long! I had to go out for a few beers and a cigar!
Anyway, a lot of us are in a bad mood. Christmas is coming, and we don’t give a rip about offending atheists, muslims, and scientoligists! However, it will be a skimpy Christmas. 10% are out of work, and more on the way!
Sarah Palin is the lady that is yelling for the ladies of America mad about how their husbands can’t work, no overtime for toys, and no new fancy clothes for Christmas! This Christmas will be our best yet to return to home made toys, or more shoplifting than ever. Ho, Ho, Ho!
That new book she wrote might be good to read, before the mind police try to burn her at the stake, and burn her book, too!
This poor old hobo wants a Christmas visit for New York City from Santa Claus. I will watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and try to spread a little cheer to the greatest city in this world! New York folks has had so many troubles, even a politician can’t promise them a Merry Christmas!
I think it would be swell to have a New Orleans Cajun Christmas party for you folks! They got a gift wtih music from the “big easy” that can even make a funeral procession a celebration time to know your family can be happy your departed are dancing in heaven ”When the Saints come marching in”! If I have one wish, it would be to see this country really celebrate our diversity with fun and music from our native American nations to our newest Russian citizens! Al Gore should hang out with our American nations to learn how to live in harmony with the earth. I have to tell you don’t mess with a Cajun or a Cossack! They got proud traditions, just like our New Yorkers.
Don’t get blue or upset that things are getting worse, with more folks out of work, and losing their homes. Even hoboes celebrate Christmas, and we don’t have much but our freedom! That’s enough right now. Pabst Blue Ribbon at the Bonduel Antler Club is only a buck, and I will buy a round for you folks in the best part of America, NorthEast Wisconsin! Cheese curds, bratwurst, beer, and a good time is here waiting for you.
Sorry you folks in New York have to put up with some kind of nonsense trial for the guys that wanted you all to drop dead. I think the best thing would be to invite all them television bums to stay away from your court house. I don’t want anyone to hear a word them cowardly killers say. It’s your town, and you should have a right to keep the reporters busy at the local bar talking to the real people that count.
Santa rides the rails once in a while, and I will try to track him down pronto! Santa is coming to New York soon.
There are a lot more hoboes this Thanksgiving. I want to give thanks for the Salvation Army, the church pantries, the homeless shelters, and the acts of kindness many extend to pilgrims in need. Take a moment to think of the community aid sites and groups nearby. The people of America have donated, aided, and extended helping hands beyond their means this year. I love our country, and our grateful citizens who help those among us, who normally would be helping others if working.
I also want to acknowledge the philanthropic and charitable services provided by the national atheist help organizations! Never mind, there aren’t any. If there’s no God, then there’s no need to worry about helping others, just yourself. And or course, we should feel sad that they have to endure all these Christian traditions such as giving thanks, or worse Christmas!
Hobo life is not something people choose as what they want to be when they grow up. Hobo life is a path cast by society upon families that had steady jobs, a regular home, and a major change in the country’s fortunes. Considering how bad the economy has treated so many, our President should be grateful that widespread looting, robbing, and worse is not out of control. “Burn baby, burn!” Remember the Watts riots of Kalifornia. It was easy to give excuses if it wasn’t your place being pillaged, because the have nots had coverage pity by commercial media,it was understandable to greedy people other people wanting to take from anyone that has stuff you want NOW.
It is the amazing discipline of the American heritage of overcoming hardships by suceeding. Otherwise, if you give up hope, you steal, you murder, you don’t think about the consequences of mass riots like Watts.
Got some good news for you folks in New York! Since we are under the Eric Holder big top circus of seeking publicity for the terrorists by a public trial, we are extending to them the laws and rights of citizens. Therefore, our Treason Act of 1814 applies, even if they are not citizens. After all, we are forcing them to be treated like citizens, even though they are not citizens.
The state has legal rights to alter sentence for acts of treason! Of course for Major Hasan, he gets the same option, too! Those found guilty of treasonous acts against us are to be hung, until unconscious (not until dead)! Then they are to be disemboweled (that will get them back to consciousness)! And, last but not least, their head is to be lopped off. The number of US victims of getting their heads lopped off by terrorists gets evened by this last part of this sentence!
If these terrorists have the possibility of being freed, which seems a nightmare to the citizens who bore witness to 9/11 carnage, then it seems fair to give them the other end of the spectrum on severe punishment as a possibility if found guilty!
Please don’t even start the”cruel and unusual punishment” whining! The carnage of 9/11 and gruesome methods of death for the victims, plus the terrorist penchant for lopping off heads give us a wider range of knowing what is not considered cruel or unusual by the defendants. Eric Holder and President “Where’s Waldo” should be present for execution of sentence.
I believe in Santa Claus! I believe in Al Gorge! Who cares what anyone believes? What counts is what we know to be a fact.
Nobody is asked to believe anything in public school. They are instructed in knowledge and facts. Now, we are being asked to believe? Why should I trust or believe the census figures of Polar bears from Al Gorge? Sarah Palin invited him to go out and count them with some ACORN census folks. The Polar bears are hungry, and Al looks a little chunky!
Anyway I won’t pretend to understand the charts, tables of statistics, but I read some amazing research by; ignoranceisntbliss and waterfriend. All I can say is that I am grateful that the search for knowledge and facts is alive. It’s easy to be spoonfed nonsense with some bottles of wine paid for by the UN climate committe to scare us in US giving more money we printed.
Please sponsor our “Hobo save our climate!” fund raiser. Send me any amount of money from 2 cents to 1 billion dollars. You can believe that I won’t do anything except spend the money. No speeches, no movies, no book, and no tour scaring everybody. Hobo life is to live simply without using many resources of earth. Beer, beans, spam, and a cigar costs about 7 dollars.
I will give an update everyday on the climate when I wake up. After 100 years my report will be ready to confirm how I saved the climate. Al Gorge won’t even be a footnote in science 100 years from now. Al Gorge will be well known under mass hysteria as world’s best paid snake oil salesman.
In ancient ignorant superstitious days we had human sacrifice to placate the angry gods. Today, we have high priests of climate temples revealing the mysterious signs and portents of their secret language and charts. We are all too stupid to understand what they are doing for us! Or is it to us?
Students and professors who question the proof and facts are non believers! They are to be cast out from the temple of climate science, and let them grovel and beg to let them back in. The global warming believers feel secure in laughing and ridiculing critics. They don’t understand the charts that prove their beliefs, but they know the climate high priests can explain the mysertious signs and symbols of the climate gods.
The commercial media don’t pretend to investigate the charts, because they solemnly nod in agreement as if they understand any of it. Now somes sceptics dared to eavesdrop on the high priests bickering over the magic internet. It seems the sacred high priests did not want worshipers to discover the source of their prophecies!
The high priests commanded the captains of commerce in “big oil” and “big utilities’ and the lower caste of “big coal” to beg for mercy by promising to pay tribute and support the GREEN ENERGY commandments.
Green Energy will save our economy. No one knows how, since China is mass producing solar panels, and wind generators for the next 100 years. Green Energy will shut down cars that are fun, and we will bring back YUGO!
If you did not pay tribute and repeat the words of prophecy from the high priests of climate, then you were and your family were shunned. Anyone who questions the high priests brings death and destruction to the world!
We are so lucky to be living in enlightened times! Are we back in the dark ages? Or are we starting our own dark ages? Turn out your lights! Freeze in your cave! Woodmen don’t cut down that tree! (Let it burn down in wildfires, then it’s okey.)
I will bring a law suit with ACLU to ban climate worship in our public schools, and separate religious teachings from government sponsorship. The world will be a better place after man is gone off the face of the earth. We know that the high priests have blamed us for everything that is wrong with the world today. Let the bugs and fish rule the world!
This is a great time of year for hobo traditions! It is time to offer a few tips for tenderfoot hobo trainees. We got over 7 million without a job, and they will be celebrating their 1st real hobo Christmas.
Uncle Stosh agreed to offer his expertise for a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. Normally, he refuses to help for nothing less than a gallon jug of Paisano red wine. The most important gift is a good hat. Most of your body heat is lost through your head, and this winter a hat is not just a decoration! GoodWill or Kohl’s has plenty to suit your personality and your hobo wardrobe.
Forget about a home with a yule log, go to the hobo jungle with logs stacked for a burning pyre. Forget about a Christmas tree, but you can wear a ornament to carry the Christmas spirit with you. The portable feast of string cheese wrapped with a beef stick is great to travel with several packs stuffed in your pockets. A can of beans and a can of spam has to fit into your travel sack or small back pack along with a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, and a flask of Jack Daniels.
Modern hobo manners is to hide your status from relatives and friends as you pretend that you fooled everybody on your dire straits. But nobody wants to hurt a hobo illusion of well being, so expect most to play along with your fantasy of well being for Christmas. It’s usually a kid that blurts out what is obvious to everyone.
What’s important to keep the dream alive of a better new year, than where a hobo is this year. The future is not written, and yesterday is old news. Merry Christmas, and God bless our hobo tenderfoots learning hobo traditions.
Just when it seems things were pretty rotten, it gets worse! The brilliant minds and busybody do gooders up to no good for us, are defaming Santa Claus!
Santa Claus is too fat. Did these guys look in the mirror? Chinese revere fat old men because they were wise enough to live that long, and they were successfull enough to afford being fat.
Santa Claus creates a lot of anxiety and conflicts among families who fool their children into believing in Santa Claus! The hit list of problems are; endless gift list, the fights over who got enough presents, and the grief of broken toys right after Christmas. Nobody has tinker toys, or fire trucks as gifts, do they?
You get the picture. According to these brilliant people, we should let kids just have another plain boring day. What could be more exciting to a child than another President Obama speech and nutritious tofu with plain rice?
The magic of Christmas and the customs and social activities around the holidays allow all cultures and ethnic groups display their traditions. For the bah humbug professors, we should give them a rubic’s cube as a gift to stay busy. For the atheists, we should give them a lawsuit to stop their nuisnace lawsuits against Santa Claus as our gift for spoiling the joy of Christmas every year!
Now the idea of gorging on rich foods for the holidays as evil, is nuts. Most folks don’t have the money to live it up more than once a year, if lucky. Now we want to make everyone feel guilty about having a good time? Do not expect an invitation to our hobo fest in Obamaville this year. We may not have much money, or much stuff, but we are going to party like there’s no tomorrow.
Last but not least, Santa Claus celebrates the religious holy day of Jesus birth. Now that’s explosive stuff. Celebrating the birth of a baby is bad enough, but recognizing that a newborn child can save the world? The “prochoice” crowd won’t like that one bit! We could be seeing all those empty spots around the holiday dinner table because some babies weren’t invited to live among us.
Eat, drink, and be merry! If some kids are spoiled and whining about their presents, let them collect firewood and build a snowman. If somebody is complaining on the waste and excess of fresh cut trees, then remind them that our love and use of the trees increases the diversity of forests, and does not eliminate forests.
Santa Claus was on the Canadian Pacific last week heading back North for the main event. Santa Claus takes on the pencil pusher busybody professors who claim to have good intentions and bad results. Santa Claus always wins!
The movie 2001 Space Odyssey has the dilemma of blind trust on technology, even if it means technology may be the source of death and mayhem! The supercomputer control of every function on the space vehicle by HAL frees the crew to remain in hibernation with a skeleton flight staff to attend to minor duties. However, the excitement begins when HAL refuses to admit any error on function by using the controls to kill every member, except Dave.
In some ways, State Department and Homeland security folks remind me of HAL. A slightly strange acting Nigerian national has a visit to Yemen, and returns to his travel to the USA to try out a new bomb he just invented in his sparetime? Why does our embassy authorize a travel permit, when his dad told the embassy don’t let my kids leave the country? Dad’s are dumb, and the State Department knows best?
When the bomb only burns up our poor Nigerian failed terrorist, the Homeland Security crew claims triumph! Let’s think how secure you feel with this response? Hobo travel is a lot safer and faster than plane travel. Now we will have every 80 year old lady strip searched, every infant remove their diaper, and every drunk from the airport bar be held as explosive weapons to be detained. The flight will take 1 hour, and the security clearence process will require 4 hours to remove all clothing, dress in hospital gowns, and cough.
How about the citizens of our country be like Dave the sole surviving independent human? He crawled into the computer and began disconnecting complete control of everything by the defective HAL. HAL was aware of Dave going about his business, by repeatedly asking “What are you doing, Dave?”
2010 will present an opportunity for the citizens of our country to stop playing make believe that our crew in Washington is doing fine. Let’s vote in some hobo types, and get rid of the professional politicians. The commercial media will be amazed to discover that the people of this country can turn off the television, can vote out deadweight in Washington, and may the citizens of our country will be heard.
The Chinese zodiac will bring in 2010 as the year of the tiger. Since I was born as a tiger, I welcome my year! If you like the chance to become a tiger, or even if you don’t like the chance, it’s happening!
The problem with tigers is well known to Siegfreid and Roy. You can love them, feed them, but they remain a tiger! So don’t turn your back on the tiger. It may be your last mistake.
Our normally quiet peaceful country will have fangs bared and claws drawn for battle. So folks, keep your eyes open on the greatest show on earth! This United States of America is about to become the wild cat of the jungle. We are tired of being told how bad we are, how greedy we are, and how ashamed we must feel about it. We are ready to pounce. No regrets on what we are about to do in 2010.
We are bold, brash, and only accept cash! Welcome to the new hobo nation. There’s only about 20 million looking to get out of handouts and into some real cash.
Parting is such sweet sorrow! There are more senators and representatives in 2010 leaving town. That is good news. The best news is when we get the final tally after November 2010 on who were invited to leave after the election.
Professor Doom has been calculating the odds for those who enjoy the sport of political duels, and political suicide. Doctor Gloom has measured the pints of whiskey administered to stimulate the political spirits. Uncle Stosh will be demonstrating to novices how to smoke a cigar, drink whiskey neat, and insult the intelligence of anyone who buys him a drink. His invaluable role as hobo lobbyist has accomplished nothing except grief and hangovers. He’s done more than the politicians leaving town!
Our President is now a veteran of the gentle art of persuasion as his deft touch will leave many empty seats in his shrinking majority. Why would anyone listen to a man dumb enough to have his mother in law living with them? Spare me the nightmare of that life.
This is the year of the Tiger in the chinese zodiac. This year those who are a little slow of foot, and dim of wit will enjoy the company of those in the tiger’s belly. David Lecherman will be at a loss to explain why his groupies have disappeared, and more disturbing why is Sarah Palin still around bedeviling him?
We hope the soon to depart, don’t cry in my Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, and get the hell out now. We don’t care what you claim to have done, because the new crew will sweep away the crackpot programs and meaningless budget buster deals. Goodbye, so long, scram!
Why would the world and the USA embrace a total stranger in popular culture? Susan Boyle charmed and moved all who saw her appearence on the English talent contest. She didn’t fit the image of false glamour, and base sex appeal so commonplace. She was too old, and too quaint as a unique personality. Her gift from God elevated all of us who enjoy her new album. I listen daily.
What strikes me as wonderous to observe, is her pure simplicity in allowing the song to take centerstage. She does not use theatrics or overpowering vocal pryotechnical nonsense. Her emotion in capturing the tone of the material, combined with a perfect arrangement for each song amazes me as a sign that the love of the craft and art of music is alive!
God Bless Susan Boyle, and I welcome all my fellow fans. I find comfort in the knowledge that the love of music is not in the gutter with nightclubbin’ pimp gangsta posers and heavy metal that was old 20 years ago. Please listen to her album, and I look forward to her continued good health so I can continue to enjoy the blessing of positive uplifting songs.
I am old enough to have enjoyed Ella Fitzgerald plus Judy Collins and I hope Susan Boyle’s success liberates all vocal artists to choose material that elevates us, not degrades us.
I can’t save the world. Repeat after me, I can’t save the world. If I go to bed hungry as a sacrifice, then I lack energy to work to feed my family. If I cry and wail over the well fed television reporters marching around Haiti pleading for us to help, then I lack compassion for my own family’s needs.
These days, the good Lord helps those who help themselves. We can’t count on our own governmen to ride to our rescue. We spent a lot of money going to Copenhagen so our government can promise more money to save the climate! We’re not saving the world, we’re saving the climate? What’s the right climate? Is it too hot? Is it too cold? Nazi hunter Granny Pelosi brought just a few million dollars to spend on her incidentals of the trip.
Why can’t we finish our own work in New Orleans? It’s all Bush’s fault that we don’t bother completing our own mission now? Why did we spend a fortune on the pandemic that never happened? Was that Bush that set that up too?
We help as much as within our ability. Charity begins at home, and if Haiti helped themselves, then they might be slightly better than the aid they got for 60 years. If we helped ourselves, maybe we could let Granny Pelosi go the the beauty queen retirement home.
I am waiting for the atheist charity drive. Why are the churches doing all the charity work for Haiti? Where are the atheist help groups? Nowhere to be found are the atheist fund raisers. It’s time for them to show us a shining example of why Christians are hypocrites, and atheists have it going the right way.
The people of the commonwealth have elected somebody with an old truck trying to marry off his daughters. Why does everyone act so differently now? He hasn’t done anything yet? This new Senator seems to have everyone acting funny!
The nazi hunter Granny Pelosi and VietNam war hero John Kerry are talking about cooperation in legislation with Republicans? Of course, talk is cheap unless actions follow.
Of course our President hasn’t done much, except waste a lot of time and money, so we can’t be too mad at doing nothing. But why did he need to waste a couple trillion dollars? Perhaps he can stay home and make more press conferences, and meetings on whatever he has meetings for. It’s less expensive than flying around the world a dozen times a year.
Our new President and our new Senator seem to have shown the will of the people does matter. Our President was a college professor. When you get tenure at a university you are untouchable. When you get elected President, you don’t ignore the people who entrusted their vote for your promises.
Us hoboes will keep a spot open at our camp fire for President lefty when he’s out of office in 2012.
